Gone

As you may or may not know, my boyfriend leaves every April for five months to sell alarms. The departing date is usually the second Sunday of April, this year he left on the second Wednesday in the morning. Dreading this day is an annual event and this year seemed to be the worst goodbye yet; or so it felt at the time.

I took Tuesday, April 12th off work to spend as much time with Chase as possible! The day mostly consisted of running errands, choking back tears, and attempting to suppress every emotion I felt all day as to not burst into sobs. I think I held myself quite well until I was packing his clothes into his bag, my  emotions couldn't stay bottled in anymore. The night was growing older and Chase had a 25+ hour drive ahead of him in just a few short hours so in order to keep hysteria getting the best of me I agreed to let him walk me out to my car. Upon exiting the house door I held my breath and took Chase's hand and walked across the street where The Cube awaited. The walk seemed shorter than usual, but before I knew it I was in my car crying. Goodnight.

The next morning was like any other morning at work baking cookies. It didn't feel much different from any other day; but I knew Chase was coming that day to visit me before departure. I knew it should be around 9:00 and I kept checking the hands of the clock, but they seemed to never move. Until, I saw his face walking in to my store, half smiling. He was carrying a pile of his clothes, which I selfishly asked him to bring me so I could have something that smelt like him all summer long; and some blueberry pudding I accidentally left in his refrigerator. We stood there and hugged for what was probably five minutes and I was trying to not allow my sinuses feeling as if they were burning so I could keep tears out of my eyes. If I started crying at work, it would have been an unstoppable epic disaster that ends in me hanging out in the backroom all day; I couldn't let this happen even though I wanted to fall to pieces in Chases arms. One last kiss....

and Goodbye, My Love.

I miss you, I hope to see you soon.